Quotes ::: Fun
New Quotes (03.03.09) On male sensitivity:"One guy can like melt rock, another can cause an earthquakes, and then Heart's like
'Hey, I can talk with that monkey over there.'"
~Gary L., clarifying ~ "[Planeteer] Heart is a wuss."
On eating disorders:
"Kawika, you eat like a little asian girl."
~Jason G.
On Spirit of the Game:
"Nothing says 'Great Catch' like yelling 'PICK!!!'"
~www.ultylife.com
On the relativity of time:
"Ahh...I have a good friend that's twenty. I'm SOOOO OLD!!!"
~Jess G. (at age 17)
How to get yourself asked to a dance:
"I have to leave in five minutes, is there anything important you need to ask me?"
~Eric S.
The dangers of sleep deprivation:
[Margaret]: brain not all here... =P
Hermyt: what?
Hermyt: where'd you leave it?
[Margaret]: i dunno. somewhere sleepy.
[Margaret]: hmm. that doesn't even begin
to make sense... =P
~Conversation with Margaret B.
On relativity:
"Hey...Simmon's Hall is actually kinda pretty...
~Cindy L., 11.19.02
Why guy friends disappear once they fall to the dark side:
A: I'm going to be so overworked this term.
I'm taking 4 hard classes, and I'm going
to be Rush Chair.
B: You should be okay.
A: And I have a girlfriend.
B: Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that; that's
like a 24 unit class in itself.
~Source: Eric S. (24 units = 2 regular MIT classes)
On efficiency:
"It's like killing two birds with one bush."
~Jenny T., 3.15.03
What women want (to be) 1:
[Livia]: Yeah, i'm gonna get myself a nice
Korean wife who's submissive and
cooks and cleans well
[Livia]: Although, I have to admit, the
Chinese ones are cuter
Hermyt: hey...whatever floats your boat.
[Livia]: hahahaha. Yeah, it's all about
good housekeeping
~Conversation with Livia K.
What women want (to be) 2:
"Deep down inside, the majority of women just want to be housewives"
~Anonymous, for his protection
Life at Simmons (aka the Space Waffle):
Are we supposed to have mirrors in our
bathrooms? Mine does not have one.
Is this normal?
-Thom
No, this is not normal - although at this
point, what is normal?
Best,
Ellen
~sponge-talk
On the ICF girls 1:
"They're really compact and space efficient..."
~Kawika U., SAND 2003,
in response to: "Why do you appreciate the ICF sisters?"
On the ICF girls 2:
"They're so cute! It's like you can fold them in half, pack them six deep in
the back, and take them home with you!"
~Anonymous
Why Asians are politically invisible:
A: Why are there no Asians in politics? B: They're all to busy being good engineers.
~Overheard on the bus to Wellesley
The wrath of God:
Hermyt: Why's your spring break gotta over-
lap w/ Welleley's? and not MIT's?
[Jerry]: God is punishing me :-P
~Conversation with Jerry C., 2.8.2003
Jumping to conclusions, part 1:
Leonel: Where have you been, man? I haven't
seen you in ages.
Me: Just been really busy, how've you been?
Leonel: What'd you do? Find a girlfriend or
something?
Me: *gag* WHAT???
~Conversation with Leonel
Jumping to conclusions, part 2
(On my profile)
This week's sign of the apocalypse: So
according to one friend of mine, I've been
AWOL for the past term.
(un)-Naturally, he concluded that I had found
a girlfriend. Go figure.
(Resultant conversation)
[Nancy]: so was he right?
Hermyt: what do you think?
[Nancy]: i dunno
[Nancy]: but my guesses are no, maybe, and yes
in that order :)
Hermyt: hahaha.
Hermyt: maybe? I'm not _that_ indecisive =P
[Nancy]: and i'm guessing your responses are,
yep, i'm not that indecisive, and
what are you smoking?, respectively.
~Conversation with Nancy S.
On male bonding:
Fred: How come guys only have deep conversa-
tions at night, when they're about to
fall asleep and looking straight up at
the ceiling?
Jason: That's known as the foxhole mentality
Eric: Well, we're all gonna die when we
reconvene with the girls, so might as
well be open now, huh?
~ICF Winter Retreat 2003, Men's group
When you need a break:
"Man, that class is so fuzzy you could pet it."
~Harold, on Intro to Acting, 2.22.2003
When you can't get the real stuff:
"It's the equivalent of musical valium
~Eric S., on Pure Moods, 2.22.2003
How to [snow]tackle:
[Jerry]: its easy in the snow [Jerry]: when they're off guard [Jerry]: stand next to them [Jerry]: stick foot behind them [Jerry]: arm at chest level [Jerry]: and bam [Jerry]: they're down
~Jerry C., 2.22.03
How _not_ to [snow]tackle:
[Jerry]: becky cant tackle [Jerry]: its so funny [Jerry]: i just give and move out of the way [Jerry]: and then she falls [Jerry]: and sam just bounces [Jerry]: ruth nudges [Jerry]: cindy stands there [Jerry]: tammy tries [Jerry]: but fails [Jerry]: haha
~Jerry C., 2.22.03
Reasons to avoid the the dance floor:
"I'm not a big fan of slow dances. It's just swaying and rotating."
~Anonymous
Reasons to avoid relationships:
"I don't want a boyfriend because I don't want to be kissed."
~Anonymous
Reasons to avoid messy DTRs:
A: I don't want to lose this friendship.
B: I don't want to lose it either...
B's mind: ...plus, I need someone to do my
problem sets with.
~Anonymous
Evidence that girls are evil 1:
A: It sounds like she's trying to bait me
into doing something stupid
B: Yup.
A: Wait, do girls just _do_ that sort of
thing? Just bait guys into doing
something stupid?
B: Yup.
~Anonymous
Evidence that girls are evil 2:
[Livia]: Sounds like "they" are evil
creatures indeed.
[Livia]: I hear that "they" also have scales
instead of skin, which is cleverly
hidden beneath "their" clothing
[Livia]: and horns
~Livia K., in response to the previous
On fear:
"I will face my fear. I will let it pass through me."
~Litany against Fear, (film version)
For balance:
"Sometimes [we're] so simple and stupid that i'm ashamed to be a guy."
~Jim Y., source Esther L.
US geography:
Harold: Welcome to New Jersey, land of
factories and suburbs
Suzanne: Wait...I thought it was just landfill
~Spring Break trip to Philly, 3.22.03
On genius:
"Your theory is crazy, but not crazy enough to be true."
~Niels Bohr, in 2001
On the subtleties of Mandarin tones:
What Suzanne meant to ask:
"Was Harold a good little boy?"
What Suzanne managed to ask:
"Was Harold a small strange child?"
~Suzanne Y., talking to my mom, 3.22.03
Taking one for the team:
[Kawika]: dude, this is so sketch.... now i
have like two dozen pictures of
young college aged asian girls
sitting around my room drying
[Kawika]: if someone walked in, they'd be
like, "uh....."
~Kawika U., printing the SAND2003 pictures
On racial disparity:
(On her IM BBall game)
[Angie]: we lost..
Hermyt: =(
[Angie]: but it's ok
[Angie]: big white girls vs. little asian
girls is always hard :)
~Conversation with Angie L.
Generous to a fault:
"I like being abused"
~Shoey A.
Musings on futility 1:
Studying for finals
Basics of Mechanics:
Stress is proportional to strain.
Does that mean the more I study the more
worried I become?...that's just twisted...
~Finals, Fall 2002
Musings on futility 2:
Dilemma:
Does the futility of my studying efforts
mean my brain is an all-pass filter?
or a no-pass one?
~Finals, Fall 2002
Musings on futility 3:
accum = in - out + gen Brain Condition: Steady State => set accum (information) = 0
~Finals, Fall 2002
On the subtleties of Mandarin tones 2:
[Becky]: <-- will be discerning....fong xing
Hermyt: no, those are envelopes.
Hermyt: if you're asking me to fang xin,
I might consider it =P
~Conversation with Becky Y., 3.4.03
On the mixing of pop culture and religion:
"Somehow when I try to think of passion Bible stories, I keep on thinking of Anakin Skywalker
killing all the desert raiders."
~Livia K., 2.1.03
How to tell you're a real MIT student:
>Does anyone know how to remove yourself from
>this mailing list? I really need to know.
>If i hear any more talk about who is more
>badass, Mr.T (who is pretty cool, but thats
>not the point) or pee wee "child pornography"
>herman, im going to get belligerent.
I see someone doesn't appreciate the subtle
joys and magnificent details of sponge-talk.
That same someone doesn't appreciate blanche
either.
-- akhil
~sponge-talk
Metaphysics:
we need more meta-conversations on sponge-talk, damnit! all those people complaining about the mailing list is a start (email-about-email), but i want even more discussions about discussions, and why we should be having those discussions. so where's the email-about-email-about-email? i guess this message counts as email-about- email-about-email. wait, but by saying that i think i made it email-about-email-about- email-about-email. crap. dan
~Dan R., on sponge-talk
Exercises in futility:
"I don't think I have the physical coordination to be a gentleman"
~Harold H., post-Senior Ball, 5.3.03
Advanced Psychology:
[Livia]: My roomate wants to ask
[Livia]: "Are you a player?" cause then we'd
be able to figure it out
Hermyt: hahahahaha
Hermyt: wait. What does being a player have
to do with anything?
[Livia]: we have a theory
Hermyt: what's the theory?
[Livia]: Well, tell me if you're a player and
I'll tell you whether you have a lot
of sisters
Hermyt: no, I'm not a player.
[Livia]: hmm, then you dont' have lots of
sisters
[Livia]: hahaha
[Livia]: only if you're asian
[Livia]: Asian guys with lots of sisters are
players
[Livia]: White guys with lots of sisters tend
to be very nice
Hermyt: what's the reasoning behind that?
[Livia]: Reasoning from evidence
[Livia]: Anyways, tell me how many siblings you
have?
~Conversation with Livia K.
Evidence that you're getting older:
"Yeah, so my mom told me two things when I went home for winter break:
1) Starting thinking about grad schools
2) You can date now."
~Suzanne Y., Winter 2003
Geek test:
Janet: You know you're at MIT when they give
you pocket screwdrivers as [Senior
Ball] favors.
Kawika: No, you know you're at MIT when
everyone finds the favor useless
cause they already have something
similar in their pockets.
~Senior Ball 5.2.03
Chick-magnetism 101:
Prompt: If the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach, what is the way to a
woman's heart?
Response:
If all else fails, you can always use the
Meteor Garden method:
(1) Abuse the girl physically and emotionally.
(2) Kidnap her occasionally to show your love.
(3) Humiliate her in front of her friends.
Even better, make sure she has none,
allowing you to become her only friend.
(4) Hang around guys who are even worse jerks
than you, making you look good in
comparison.
(5) Suddenly start acting all romantic and
slick when the girl is ready to kill you
(or issue a restraining order against you)
It's a proven technique. Just ask any F4 fan.=)
~Eric S., 6.2.2003, source Shoey A.
The dangers of analogies (example):
Prompt: If you were in a vast cornfield, looking
for the "best" head of corn...assuming
limited time and limited resources, how
would you go about searching for it?
Response: Napalm the entire field. If you can't
find the best corn, no one else can.
~Eric S., 5.5.2003, source Shoey A.
On the importance of diction:
A: like, how would you describe her?
A: I need adjectives
B: "Small"
A: ouch.
B: Haha
B: Hmm
B: Dedicated
B: Amusing (dunno if that sounds weird :-P)
B: Responsible
A: ok
B: Disarming
A: disarming?
B: Yeah
B: Well
B: I think most people would agree with "cute"
...but I would rather not call anyone "cute"
A: so disarming =P
~SAND Planning, Spring 2003
How to dress:
[Alan]: i was like i can't imagine harold
in a tux
[Alan]: but i can imagine in harold in a tux
with his adidas slippers
~Conversation with Alan W., post-Senior Ball
What friends are for:
[Angie]: i bet you are a baller deep inside. :)
~Conversation with Angie L.
Mysteries of the Universe:
[Steph]: i went shopping today with my
roommates :)
Hermyt: clothes?
[Steph]: yupp
Hermyt: hmm...somehow I find it hard to muster
up the excitement to equal yours
[Steph]: haha it was so much fun!!
[Steph]: :)
[Steph]: you can come join the fun next time
[Steph]: and then you'll see how exciting it is
[Steph]: :)
~Conversation with Steph L., 10.18.03
Nerd humor strikes back:
"If it hasn't been done already, a skit should be made about "alt+f4", a geeky, windows-using,
course 6, asian boy-band from MIT."
~Kawika U., 08.08.03
Suzanne comes to her senses:
"I don't know what got into me ... they're not good looking and they can't sing!"
~Suzanne Y., referring to F4, 09.20.03
Even the youngest of us has to grow up:
Eric: "Hi, my name is Eric, but I'm
actually here on behalf of my
friend Judy Chen."
Recruiter: "What are you, her agent?"
Eric: "Haha, I wish, but I'm not
getting paid."
Recruiter: "So how do you know her?"
Eric: "She's a friend who just
graduated."
Recruiter: "A friend? Do you mean something
like ... dating? "
Eric: "Uh ... she's a bit older than me."
(Awkward conversation ensues, and I leave as
quickly as possible.)
~Conversation b/w Eric S., MIT Career Fair, 09.25.03
Perpetuating Asian Stereotypes:
[Emily]: Man... Gotta love these Chinese reading
comprehension stories..."Marry me
'cause you can cook and sew"... how
unromantic =P
~Emily Y.
Mars was a Jedi, Venus was a Sith Lord:
This week's sign of the apocalypse 2:
One more to the dark side.
[Margaret]: hmm...cf. your profile...which dark
side? webjournals or cell phones?
;)
Hermyt: hahaha
Hermyt: darker
[Margaret]: Err...?
~Conversation with Margaret B., 06.26.03
Advice from a Jedi Master:
"Just remember, girls are crazy. So don't give them even more ammo to shoot with.
Cut off their supply routes"
~Gary L., 11.08.03
Dangerous advice from a fortune cookie:
"Give the person next to you a kiss."
~Theresa G.'s fortune cookie 9.10.03
Freethinkers putting their minds to use:
From a strictly "catchability" perspective, "brights" is a disaster. And it doesn't help that it has the not-so-subtle connotation that we think we're brighter than everyone else. That's why Mensa is called "Mensa" and not "Smarties." Regards, Jason
~Jason D., mitaah-discuss, 7.19.03
Masochistic Institute of Technology:
Hermyt: hey, happy birthday [Matt]: thanks harold Hermyt: do anything special? [Matt]: yep [Matt]: p-sets! [Matt]: :-D
~Conversation with Matt K., 10.02.03
Vocabulary:
Word of the Day:
Cutetonium, as in "That skirt is pure
weapons-grade cute-tonium"
~Improper Bostonian, Nov 5-18, '03
Reasons to avoid the dance floor 2:
Eric: I don't even know how she was dancing.
Harold: I think it was body writhing.
Conversation with Eric S., post-First Frost, 11.01.02
Where have all the flowers gone:
Simon: Which flowers should I get? These or
those? These are nicer, but they're
44 dollars
Harold: Yeah
Pat: What's the occasion? Birthday?
Anniversary?
Simon: No
Harold: Maybe he's just being nice?
Simon: Yes. It's just a random act of
kindness
Pat: Oh...I have it. You got in a fight,
with your girlfriend didn't you?!
~Sadoway Labs, 07.21.03
Who needs flowers:
V: So do you have any prospects?
G: Dude, my farm system is as barren as the
Tampa Bay Devil Rays'
~Kept anonymous for reputation purposes, 10.17.03
Evidence that girls are evil 3:
"I have no delusions about my ability to cause the extinction of the male gender"
~Livia K., 10.26.03
Effects of their evil:
A: Man, marriage is like an infectious disease
it just keeps spreading around.
B: Yeah, [a fourth year student] was saying
that every summer, it gets worse and worse
There are already so many weddings scheduled
for next summer. ... Wait, why I am using
the term 'worse'? Isn't marriage supposed
to be a good thing?
A: The worst part of is that we can't tell
which guys are already engaged now, so next
fall when we come back, they'll all be
wearing rings, and we'll be, like, what
happened?!?
~Source, Margaret B., 11.12.03
Why there needs to be hunting season:
[Eric]: How did you [find out]? Hermyt: a little bird told me [Eric]: Wily birds [Eric]: I knew they were trouble.
~Conversation with Eric S., 08.06.03
Colds and Speech Recognition Don't Mix:
[Livia]: I'm sick give my noses stuffed up and
it is really hard to dictate
[Livia]: OK, this is to frustrate. Maybe I'll
just talk to you once my doze
clears up
~Livia K., 12.03.03
School makes you dumberer:
[Margaret]: brain can only process one thingee
at a time
[Margaret]: yeah
[Margaret]: O.o
Hermyt: haha.
Hermyt: I'm glad to see that med school can
be boiled down to "thingees" =P
~Conversation with Margaret B., 11.12.03
Interviewers say the darndest things:
Interviewer: So what's one accomplishment that
completely exceeded your
expectations.
Harold: Well, this past spring, the guys
in my church group were putting
together a Sister's Appreciation
Night.
I: Wait, by "Sister's", do you mean
actual sisters? or do you mean
nuns?
~Patti A., GE, 10.17.03
Asian parents are scary:
"You know son, we sent you to school for two reasons. Getting an education was only one of them..."
~Regan W.'s parents
Money heals all wounds:
(said in a thick redneck accent)
My girlfriend thinks I'm crazy
I asked her, "If I have to eat something
disgusting, like deer testicles,
will you still kiss me?"
She said no.
But that's all right, 'cause I'll have 50,000
dollars!
~Daren, Fear Factor participant, 12.08.03
(Daren ended up eating a sausage of live worms)
Evasive Maneuvers:
Auto response from [Livia]: the key to stop
someone from hitting on you is to casually
mention a significant other early on in the
conversation
[Eric]: Wrong, that just emboldens some people
[Eric]: A more effective way is to mention
some unsightly physical deficiency you
may have.
[Eric]: For example, "I would love to go out
with you on Friday night, except I
need to go to my cosmetic surgeon to
take care of that facial hair problem
I always have."
~Livia K.'s away message, 12.08.03
Sincerity:
If I was your best friend I would tell you How bad Your acting is To your face
~Beau Sia, "If I was your best friend", performed @ Borders 12.09.03
Time Perception:
Steph: "How old are you?"
Harold: "22"
Steph: "Whoa. Were you born in the
seventies?"
~Steph L., 01.05.04
On the Superiority of Techno (ie, the lameness of hip-hop):
[Frank]: techno is music you can really FEEL
[Frank]: hiphop is just like a bad excuse to
grind and stuff
[Frank]: every single song is like
[Frank]: you a fine mothaf-ka bettah back that
ass up
[Frank]: some version of that
~Frank L., 01.18.04
I wonder how many heart attacks I'll cause:
Hermyt's Away Message: Getting courted is a
supremely weird feeling.
Responses:
[Margaret]: what the...?? O.o
[Jeff]: you're getting courted!
[Jeff]: awesome
[Steph]: whaaaaa
[Becky]: what the myephe?!
[Becky]: COURTED?
[Eric]: Uh, what?
[Emily]: ?!
[Emily]: Details!! =P
[Livia]: I take it that this is a company and
not a girl
[Esther]: courted, eh? :-* [kiss smiley]
[Jon]: by whom?
[Jon]: lucky i found this out while i'm NOT
on the field
[Jon]: otherwise i'd drop the disc or something
[Dave]: aw
[Dave]: i know getting the girls to back off
is hard
[Dave]: but sometimes you have to set your
foot down
Zephyr Addendum: (02.23.04)
[Emily]: *points to your away message* Ok,
explain, like, now? =)
[Emily]: And I know you're there, so stop
dodging me ;)
~Fun with Away Messages 1.28.04
False Alarm Press Statement:
Hermyt’s Away Message:
Concerning yesterday's away message:
While I appreciate all of your interest in my
love non-life, I regret to inform you that the
away message wasn't about a girl. If there was
a girl, it would've been a sign of the
apocalypse. As you can see, the sun still rose
and the world has not ended. Ergo, Harold's
love life is still non-existent
My deepest apologies for any confusion that
this might have caused.
Responses:
[Jon]: BOO
[Jon]: i demand a refund
[Jeff]: nice away message to counter yesterday's
away message
[Frank]: hahah:-)
[Frank]: yea i was wondering too
[Frank]: its all good
[Frank]: i'm sure your future wife will look
something like this
[Frank]: [link]
[Frank]: man, lucky you
[Kadian]: i was a bit confused about the away
message myself.:-P
[Steph]: haha
[Steph]: awwwww a girl would have been more
exciting
[Steph]: :-P
[Steph]: GO HAROLD
[Steph]: haha
[Livia]: ha ha
[Livia]: you know you did that on just to get a
reaction out of everyone
[Margaret]: HAHAHAHA...
[Margaret]: ok i was just messin' with ya' when
i commented yesterday
~Fun with Away Messages 01.29.04
Logicsmith:
[Eric]: I wouldn't want to be a psychologist
I think I'd screw up too many people's
lives. Therefore, I want to be a lawyer,
where my job is to screw up people's
lives. Maybe I can be a psychologist
for computers.
[Livia]: my computer seems to be depressed
[Eric]: I advise it take a break from you of
several days. You two have an unhealthy
relationship.
[Livia]: what is so unhealthy about it?
[Eric]: Hey, it gave you RSI, didn't it? That's
abuse right there.
[Livia]: but I can't leave it I'm too dependent
on it
[Eric]: Classic victim syndrome
[Livia]: what should I do?
[Eric]: Give it to me
[Livia]: should I really give it to you,
Mr. psychologist?
[Eric]: I also think you have an overdependent
relationship with your wallet. You might
want to give that to me as well.
[Livia]: I take that back about being a psycho-
logist. You will make a excellent lawyer
~Livia K. and Eric S., 02.04.04
Comeuppance:
"As a high-school senior, former Treasury secretary Robert Rubin applied to Harvard [accepted]
and Princeton [rejected]. Four years later Rubin sent a letter to the Princeton
admissions director: "You might be interested to know what happened to one of the people
you rejected ... I graduated from Harvard summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa." The dean's
reply: "Every year, we at Princeton feel it is our duty to reject a certain number of
highly qualified people so that Harvard can have some good students, too."
~Source Mickey C.